This Summer

It’s Thursday and I feel beaten down, only because this summer is so close to coming to an end and I think subconsciously, my body knows it. I’m emotionally exhausted and with such strong emotions, my body tends to become sluggish at the end. Let’s re-cap, shall we?

Summer time lows: losing my job, a pregnancy that did not last, the D&C I had to have, my grandfather’s kidney’s are failing, Chris had to work more than ever….when I needed him the most, and his stress level has been through the roof, and our relationship with God has slipped

Summer highs: Finding out we were expecting, losing my job (that was never meant to be in the first place), finding out we are able to go to Maine at the end of the worst summer we have ever had together.

All in all, this summer hasn’t been what we expected, of course

Losing my job? Unexpected.
Pregnant the month before we were going to REALLY start trying? Unexpected.
Losing that life? Unexpected.
My grandfather? Expected at some point, but who could predict when?
My relationship with God? I just don’t even know.
Maine? COMPLETELY unexpected.

There have been tears shed smiles shared. But do you know what the best thing about this summer has been? My relationship with my love, my man, my partner, my soul mate,…..my husband…...has been tested time and time again, and through it all…..we are better for it.

We have grown so much closer together through all of this turbulence. Going to Maine with Chris is going to be a fresh start for us, a new beginning to what I hope is an incredible autumn season. It’s going to be a renewal of faith and the building of a marriage that has been pulled and poked one too many times this summer.

I’ve learned a lot over the past few months.

I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I’ve learned that my husband is stronger than he ever thought too. I’ve also learned that self-reliance is not the answer and that keeping things inside only hurts more. Talking about it helps heal….even if it means the one closest to you sees you in your weakest moments with tears streaming down your face. I’ve learned that life is precious. I’ve always said that, but realizing it and truly believing it are completely different than just knowing it. I’ve learned to accept change. Sometimes you don’t have a choice. I’ve learned that love can’t conquer all, but it sure as heck can help it get better and it did.

There is something in the air today…….