Letters

Dear JJK,

Please learn how to shut off the Air Handler Units before entering so that when you go in, the doors don't slam behind you and annoy the crap out of me. Don't make me fire you.

Regards,

Your General Contractor and Boss (Wo)Man.

Dear High School Students,

Please stop squeaking your annoying instruments on the other side of my office wall. Go outside and sweat like the rest of the high school bands. Your squeakiness is making my skin crawl and I may have to revert to burying your squeak machines in the football field. Please don't make me break this fine school that I just built for you either. I'd hate to demolish all of my hard work because you can't seem to play your instruments without a constant squeak and it's making me crazy.

Sincerely,

The girl who built your school.

Dear Interweb,

I would appreciate it if you would stop freezing aka. acting like an erratic cyborg from hades. You have caused blogger to eat at least three of my posts and that does not make me very happy as I put a lot of time and energy in to the things I wanted to say to my "bloggies" today. I am very irritated and if you keep this up, I will tell your father....Al Gore. I don't5 think he will be very happy with your behavior as of late.

Behave or die.

Sincerely,

Your Highly Annoyed User


Dear Universe,

Ever have days where it just doesn't work? And by "it" I mean everything that you come in contact with. Yes, it is one of THOSE days, and I blame it on my sore throat and sneezing. Universe.....I think I may be getting a cold. I know that Chris is sick and I'm pretty sure he's gotten me mildly sick as well. I am going to fight this will all of my will power. Well, except the whole sneezing thing. I can't fight that....it makes my eyes water. Can you please stop picking on me, because really.....what fun is it to kick someone who just doesn't give a crap anymore. Pick on someone your own size.

Sincerely,

An Earthling named Alicia


Dear Gonad,

I think you are wonderful. Your furry and cute and you love to give me kisses (as long as there are treats involved), but I have one significant issue....you HATE the scrapbook I am making of you. I understand that on some pages, Daddy and I seem to be making fun of you. I know that we bought a stamp of an alien with a heart shaped head in a Jetson's style UFOmobile, and called him Your Best Friend Forever Heart Head the Alien, and he's is all over your scrapbook in hidden locations; and I know that we nicknamed you Edweena Scissor Hands because your nails are long and that is our fault...we need to cut them; and I know that I take pictures of you when you are in your little litter tray pooping and then post them on the interweb for all to see, BUT everything your Daddy and I do is out of love so PLEASE stop trying to eat your scrapbook.

Love,

Mommy


Dear Calgon,

Can you please take me away like you always say you will?

Your forever loyal consumer,

Alicia