Ever feel like you have multiple personality disorder?
I do today.
One minute, I’m happy and I’m ready to get SOMETHING done (because Lord knows I haven’t done much work this week at.all.) and then I get all crappy and tired and say “bleh….who needs it”.
This brings me to a point that many of us seem to be pondering lately. God’s will for our lives. We, as women, are supposed to be our husbands helper. We are supposed to be the home care taker and the caretaker of our children. In everything we do, we are to do it for God. As in work…..do it for God. This is where I struggle. How can I be comfortable doing my work for God when I know certain things about my industry and my company that I’m SURE God is not applauding? How can I change my attitude for the past 27 years from stubborn, opinionated, competitive, do-it yourselfer, to a woman of God….my husbands helper. I’ve always been a leader, not a follower. Now, I need to become a follower, not a leader? Hmmmm.
Elizabeth George has been providing some good insight in her book “A Woman After God’s Own Heart” She too struggled with this exact same thing, as I think many of us are, or have. I’m really looking forward to digging in to this book even deeper and hopefully not only strengthening my relationship with God, but with my husband.
Now, onto another soap box. My freaking tiredness. Serisouly…..is anyone as tired as me everyday? I mean, I am 100% completely unmotivated to do ANYTHING AT ALL. I think I have literally done a few hours of work since Monday (Tuesday doesn’t count…I was closing out my previous project at our district office….I HAD to work). Really, I am so tired I can’t think. This is another reason that the whole lifestyle change thing is coming out again. I need the motivation to change it….to get healthy….to find another job closer to home, to take care of myself, to be able to fall asleep when I go to bed without Tylenol PM, to become ready to have a child, to stop yawning all day, everyday, to stop being in my car for at least 3 hours a day, to stop complaining about everything, to appreciate life more, to get off the low dose Zoloft, to not be too tired to cook and exercise, to enjoy all those things that I used to and to finally do away with the gut issues that apparently are all in my head!. Geez….if I would have just said that….I’d be seriously out of breath.
So that’s my whining for today. I am too tired to post all that I want to post today…..sad, isn’t it? Just know that you guys rock and I promise a normal post before the weekend is out. Happy Thursday!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
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12 comments:
To preface my comment, I'm pretty non-religious, and certainly very against taking the Bible literally. So take this for what you will.
But I have always found the interpretation of "husband's helper" thing particularly bad. It screams of inequality, of needing to somehow be willing to put aside what you want/need/believe is right if it goes against what he wants/needs/believes is right.
I am my husband's helper - but he is equally mine. I am stubborn and opinionated, but I recognize that he knows more than I do in certain areas - as he recognizes I know more in others. I am competitive with him, but we keep it in perspective. I do things myself whenever I can - as does he - but we quickly and willingly team up when it's clear it needs the both of us. I lead, and I follow.
And *that* is what I think marriage is about. The give and take, the recognizing the other's strengths and weaknesses. Not him always being the leader or having the final say. Not some sort of protector / head of the household role he is supposed to fill.
Sorry this got so long, it's sort of a pet-peeve topic of mine!
I constantly struggle with the "husband helper" part. I am such a strong-willed, determine (and sometimes b*%&cy) person, that I find it so hard to humble myself to be DH's helper.
For example, he works his butt off in the yard. I'd love to help him, but I'm either a) not strong enough or b) know nothing about cars, so I can't help him, yet I expect him to help me clean the house and wash the dishes. Seriously - does that make ANY sense at all?! (yes, sometimes I'm just a spoiled rotten little brat - ugh).
I pray that something will come along for you to help you with your change. That must be so hard trying to work for God when you know your company is doing things that God would disapprove of - I've struggled with that too - and ended up leaving the company (so not too many words of widsom from me on that one....)
I think this is sufficiently long enough now.
Hope you have a great Friday and a great weekend!
I am reading the same book. I am almost done with it and when I finish I am going to re-read it with my trusty highlighter (pink of course) I am finding her book to be so insightful.
Tierd... let me just say I fall alsleep at my desk... enough said... LOL
I read that book a while back and I'd like to go back and reread it again soon. I got lots of good stuff out of it!
I hope you are able to change your situation soon! I'm sorry things are so stressful for you!
I think being our husband's helper is a very noble role to take on. It forces us, if you will, to be unselfsh and put our husband's needs before our own. To which I must add has nothing to do with inequality and I'm pretty sure you understand this. Biblically speaking the man is the head of the house, yet because he loves his wife and Christ loves the church he will consider you in everything as well. In this regard it is good to be the follower, the leader is your husband. I have more dominant leadership qualities than my husband does, but I remind my husband occassionally that he is the head of the house as God intended and he has the final say. Brad knows I'm putting my wellbeing in his hands so he trys really hard to make me happy. An example: When he quit his job and we either take 2 weeks vacation now, or hold out for later. He wasnt too thrilled about all the rush and fuss of getting around for vacation at the last minute and would have preferred to postpone it, but he knew I really really really wanted to go so he made the decision to go now because he loves me and wanted me to be happy. And because he looks out for me, I WANT to look out for him - to be his helper, to encourage him along the way. I know I'm not very good at this, and I think we are all a work in progress becoming Godly wives. It's one of those cycles, like when we show our husbands respect they will more easily show us love. When we are our husband's helper, encourager, cheerleader they naturally want to please us.
Isnt God amazing! Men and women are so similar in some areas, but so extremely different in others. It's amazing how God created us to give of ourselves in order to build up the other person.
I rambled here... it's more like a book than a comment. ;)
You'll have to let me know how the book goes. I've never read that one, though I think my sister owns it.
Have a lovely day!
I'm sorry you're so tired...I completely understand. We had shutdown all last week and this entire week has been a struggle for me to keep my eyes open at work or muster up any motivation to get things done.
And thanks for your sweet comment the other day. It's nice to know that I have fellow believers I can tell about what's on my heart and mind and that will pray with me.
I'll be praying for both of us as we learn to be obedient to what God wants us to do.
Love,
Erin
I do think that we are women after God's own heart. There are so many of us that are so used to being independent that it's hard for us to take that "helper" role. I have a desire to be the helper God made me to be. But sometimes I struggle with making decisions without consulting my husband or telling him what he can/can't do, etc. That may be a book I need to read next! LOL I hope that you find some comfort and relief from the stresses of your life. Take care! :o)
Ick, I am sorry you are having a rough time lately! I really hope you are able to start making those changes you want, and to get your life as you would like it to be. We'll be here to cheer you on!
I'll have to check out that book...sounds interesting. I haven't heard of it until now.
The sleepiness is hard to say...I felt that way though when I was taking zoloft. I am now off of that and still having problems going to sleep at night. I can't remember all of the side effects, but I do know that it effected me negatively. Have you talked to your Dr. about the problems falling asleep and the tiredness? It could be that. I'll be praying for you!
**PS I liked your idea about a prayer request once a week. Let's start one! I'm all for it. Have a good weekend. Hope you get some rest.
Yes...been there many times. Your first paragraph about feeling happy the getting crappy and saying "bleh...,who needs it". Perfect example of the person I have been the past weeks/months.
I don't have a good answer as to a solution to all of it. I know I was feeling what you were feeling a few years ago with commuting to work and wishing I had more time to do the things that were most important to me...then I prayed, and prayed a lot and hard, and was gifted with a job 10 min. from home. Then the hubby, and baby all came along like God new exactly what he was doing. Amen.
Another good book series by Stormie Omartian, The Power of a praying..... I am re-reading Power of a praying wife, and there is also woman, mother, and Power of praying together. I love praying for my husband...it really seems to open us up!
OK, have a great weekend, sorry for the ramble.
I would LOVE to read that book. I struggle with this as well. It's so hard for me sometimes! I hope you find some relief from teh stresses you're going through.
And, I totally hear ya on the bein' tired thing!!! I have no motivation to do anything when I get home from work except take a two hour nap on the couch!!
I've read an Elizabeth George book a few years ago and really enjoyed it. I forgot the exact name, but it was about being a Proverbs 31 woman- is that the same one?? I agree with you- sometimes it's hard to be the helper! I think anyone that says it's easy is either super-human or lying. My prayer is that we serve the Lord an in turn serve our husbands the way God has intended. That doesn't mean we can't be strong-willed women, God made you strong for a reason! I know you are a wonderful wife. Ha ha, okay I don't know that from seeing you in action, but I can just tell from your blog and the way you share your heart. Your husband is blessed to have you. I hope you have a restful weekend!
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